I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
