This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
