That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
did i just pee glitter
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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