I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
