Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
