I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
