Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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