think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
