i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
