Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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