he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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