tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
