ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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