everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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