im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
