WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
