We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
