yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
