bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
