I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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