Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
