he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
