Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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