Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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