before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
