I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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