Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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