I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
