All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
