Buhtt sex?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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