Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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