Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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