thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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