Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
