What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
