I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
