She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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