Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
