Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
