this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
