Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
