She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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