Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
