We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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