these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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