i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
