Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
