Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
