do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
