It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
