Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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