Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
