Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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