Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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